beginning | blinding torment | boils | lies | making me bitter | evil compounds evil | blah blah bity blah


season one




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The season of fun, a monster a week, dead Buffy, stuffy Giles, brave Xander, scared Angel, computer geek Willow, bitchy Cordelia. It was all good.











Welcome to the Hellmouth

Buffy comes to Sunnydale. The world of fashion will never be the same again.





The Harvest

The Master is set on rising. Will our heroine stop him? Are you on the edge of your seat wondering?





The Witch

Buffy wants to be cheerleader. A girl bursts into flames. Cordelia goes blind. We meet Amy. Coincidence?


Teacher's Pet

A teacher likes Buffy. Teachers never like Buffy. They may fear her, but they generally don't like her. So, if one does, it can only mean bad icky death.  Dr. Gregory, we barely knew ya. Buffy is distraught over losing the only teacher who is not an English librarian who might have remembered her name and helped her get back into school a couple of seasons down the road, she doesn't even think of the obvious cause of death: Preying Mantis Attack! Xander, of course, falls in love with the big evil preying mantis. She wants to mate with him and have his babies. And munch on his head.











Never Kill A Boy on the First Date

Owen. He's so cute. And he likes Emily Dickenson. I think other stuff happened too, what with the chosen one and the five, and the Master, and vampires and stuff, but did I mention how cute Owen is?







The Pack

Xander starts to turn into an evil hyena. But he looks damn sexy. He eats the school mascot, but misses out on principal snacking. Then he hits on Buffy. Really hard. But, he's still an evil hyena, so it's not his  fault. And then he hits on Giles. After he turns back.








What? This minor character gets his own episode? I thought he was like an extra. It's shocking really, but Angel's a vampire! Remember that Darla girl from Welcome to the Hellmouth? She's back. And she sired Angel! But then he stakes her. I bet she's rethinking that whole siring thing now. I wonder if we'll ever see that girl again.






I Robot, You Jane

Willow has this cool demon boyfriend on the Internet. Which reminds me, what are you doing here on the Internet reading this? The online world is evil, full of scary people. Not that I would know.
















The Puppet Show

There's this talent show at school. It's not exactly a puppet show, but see there's this puppet in the episode. OK, not a puppet so much as a dummy. The talking kind. I mean, the wooden kind. I mean, actually he's a demon, er, no, a demon hunter. And then Giles almost gets his head chopped off and Willow freaks because she has to perform onstage. And there's something after everyone with a big knife. But Riley and Adam aren't in it, so I guess it's not Restless.









It's just like everyone always knew was true! Buffy's dad left her mom because of her, clowns are scary and evil, Willow sings opera. Oh wait, the performing fear was Puppet Show, I mean, Restless, I mean, oh never mind. We think our nightmares are bad, but actually reality is just as awful when we find out that a little league coach has been beating his players to a pulp for losing the game. Damn, this is a cheerful show.








Invisible Girl

Cordy is really a bitch. In case you didn't notice. But she also has wide-reaching powers. No, not visions. Yet. She ignored Marcie, and Marcie became invisible. So, like Neverwhere, only on a slightly smaller scale. Also, unlike the book, Marcie goes to work for the government, so it's all OK in the end.


Prophecy Girl

The Master kills Buffy and he is shocked to find that she can still kill him back. But as she explains, "I may be dead, but I'm still pretty."


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