beginning | blinding torment | boils | lies | making me bitter | evil compounds evil | blah blah bity blah

I wasn't really expecting one. No contact with civilians. There's probably a... code name for it. You know, like radio silence, it's 'greeting card silence.'

e-cards from Boils and Blinding Torment
Let someone know you care

Share the Boils and Blinding Torment love with others. Looking for a card for an event, and we just don't seem to have the right fit? Well, let us know what event you're looking for in the forums.

Just pick your card, add your greeting, let us know who to notify, then preview the finished card. Once you've perfected it, click send and we'll do the rest. And be sure to check out the fabulous get well cards. And hey, if they suck, don't blame us. You guys made 'em.

Step 1: Choose a card.

Select a card from the list below. Click on the image to see the full size.

New Cards!

Message on card:

Choose your costume wisely.
Foreshadowing's a bitch.

Message on card:

This Halloween remember, there are a lot of scary things out there. So be safe.
And look out for bunnies.

Message on card:

Hey, it's Halloween!
Give the scary guy with the butcher knife a chance!

Message on card:

Always give out the good candy. You never know who's gonna come a knockin'.
Happy Halloween!

Message on card:

Happy Halloween!
So, do you trick? Or do you treat?

Message on card:

Happy Halloween!*
*Please dress responsibly. We cannot take responsibility for any evil spells cast

Message on card:

Happy Halloween!
Please gorge responsibly. Know when to say when.

Created by Ally

Message on card:

Remember when Willow wanted to curse Oz for sleeping with Veruca, but then she couldn't, because she LOVED him too much?
Well, I could.

Message on card:

A friend is someone who
you can send to a fiery hell dimension, and they forgive you
loves you, no matter how disturbing your habits
you can talk to about your imaginary sister and sacred calling without them calling your deranged or nuts or psycho or just generally insane
loves you for you, no matter how bitchy you are
you can send stupid postcards to, and they get it

Thank you for being my friend

Message on card:

not all superheroes come with fantastic superpowers and sassy capes.
you're my superhero.
Never forget that.

Message on card:

Go to hell.
Thanks.

Message on card:

Evil lady with a penis on her head got you down?
I'm sorry. Let me know if you need anything.

Message on card:

Friend,
We may not be as close as we once were, but I want you to know that I am here for you whenever you need me...

Unless you need bail money.
What am I, a bank?

Cards of love

Message on card:

Darling, I love you more than life itself and I would never leave you at the alter. Unless, you know, some weird old guy showed up as was all dude, your life is going to suuuuuuuuck. And your kids? Uuuuuuuuugly.
But seriously. What are the chances of THAT happening? Marry me?

Message on card:

darling, you know I love you and would do anything for you...
but fuck with me or that girl down the street and you're troll bait.
I'm not joking.

Message on card:

Fuck you

Message on card:

Fuck off

Message on card:

I hope that I never have to stab you, causing you to be sucked in to hell for an eternity of suffering

Graphics by Vrya

Message on card:

Hey, remember when Cordy dumped Xander right after he gave her that sweet Valentine's Day present?
That was so rude! I would never do that.

(I'm dumping you with this card instead.)

Graphics by Vrya

Message on card:

My heart belongs to you.

Graphics by Vrya

Message on card:

I don't care what my friends say.
I'll date you if I wanna date you. No matter how lame you are.
We can fight a lot when they're around, right?

Graphics by Vrya

Message on card:

Our love is eternal... Just like Buffy and Angel's.

Well, except that she slept with Parker, what? Four episodes after Angel left? And then there was that whole Riley period. And I bet she wasn't really thinking about Angel during all the hot sex with Spike, but then again, isn't he all pining away for Cordy now anyway when he's not making out with electro-babe?

Sorry, lost my train of thought. What was I saying again?

Graphics by Vrya

Message on card:

I promise not to have sex with anyone other than you.
Well unless she switches bodies with you and I don't know about it.
But other than that, it's all you baby!

Card by Vrya

Message on card:

Ah, True Love!
No, wait... Finally true love!
Um, hang on... True Lurve!
darlin', let's not worry about next season just yet...
Be my valentine right now. Before Joss changes my mind!

Graphics by Vrya

Message on card:

Fond memories
Our special time together means so much

Message on card:

Remember how upset I was when Giles when away? Remember how much I missed him? Remember how I screamed at the TV set, begging him to return, promising him that I'd never stray and watch "that '70's show" in place of Buffy again? And you know how much I love That 70's show.

Well that's almost as much as I miss you. Call me.

Cards for Dating

Message on card:

I'm not a demon...
You're not a demon...
So... what d'ya say?
Coffee?

Message on card:

The voices.
They won't stop. SCREAMING.
They torture me day and night.

They tell me to do things.
And they think you're pretty cool. Fancy a bit to eat? On say, Saturday?

Cards of Friendship

Message on card:

To whom it may concern, I am very sorry that I tied you up and tried to feed you to a demon. Metaphorically. Or not. Friends?

Message on card:

When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand and nothing is going right close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there to brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name and you know wherever I am I'll come runnin' oh yes I will just to beat the crap out of you again.

'Cause baby you've got a friend.

Message on card:

You're such a good friend that if you turned into some freakish demon and no one recognized you...
Well, I wouldn't recognize you either, probably. I mean, you'd be a demon and all.
But I would hopefully not kill you by mistake.
And if I did, I'd feel really bad.

Message on card:

demons.
terror.
running for your life.
it's what friendship's all about.
i'm so glad you're my friend.

Message on card:

For you...
the gift...
of nekkidness.

Enjoy

Cards of Thanks

This card inspired by smurfette.

Message on card:

Thanks for being so kind and supportive.
Hey...
You're not going to poison me and lock me up with a psycho now are you?

Cards of Support

Message on card:

When you're feeling down and blue and you think the whole world's against you, remember one thing...
It is. But at least you have more than one shirt.

Message on card:

When you're down and troubled and feeling alone and like you might possibly do something like go out and get drunk and go shopping or, say, cast a spell to feel better, remember one thing:

If you make me fall in love with an evil vampire, I swear to god I will kick your ass.

Other than that, I'm here for you.

Message on card:

Your mother may send you to school in a butterfly collar and flaired jeans, but take heart.
She could be sending you to school in something much, much worse.

Message on card:

Take comfort that at least you don't have flashbacks to an imaginary world where you live in a mental ward and are urged to kill all your friends so you can live in the imaginary nuthouse world forever. At least you don't have to deal with that.

You don't right?

Message on card:

Need a little help overcoming your fear?
Just remember...
Fear: Shown Actual Size

And don't taunt the fear demon. It's just tacky.

Message on card:

So you were late. Your boss yelled at you. Your dentist called and said you need three cavities filled. Your computer blew up.
Come on, cheer up! Things aren't that bad! It's not like you went out and got hit on by your dead, skanky, kinda-gay doppleganger, right?

Yep. Sometimes life's all about perspective.

Message on card:

Well, when your purple and yellow cow mug starts dancing and talking to you,
maybe the time has come to ask yourself
what the hell you're doing with a purple and yellow cow mug.

Message on card:

Fiesta Giles says:
hey little girl would you like some candy?
I mean buck up and all that.
Everything's going to be fine.
Here, would you like to wear my hat?

Birthday Cards

Message on card:

For your birthday I would never leave you helpless locked in a house with a vampire psychopath.

I mean unless my boss told me to or something.

Message on card:

Fuck!

you mean you didn't want an arm in a box??

Message on card:

Big fucking deal. It's not like you got dragged
into Mama Bezoar's mouth while fighting a
cowboy vampire in bad boots, then had to fight
your way out with a pick axe dropped by one of
your bezoar-possessed friends, now is it?
That's what I thought.

Congratulations

Message on card:

I hope you love your new job!

College Wishes

Created by Sarah Hart

Message on card:

Finals? I think you've got bigger problems. The "snap-tight" monster in my basement, for example.

Created by Sarah Hart

Message on card:

School is hard, but remember: in the end, when your professor is chased by "wild dogs" and turned into a zombie, you'll be glad you went to lecture.

Message on card:

Things to ask potential fraternities...

  1. How much room do you get in the refrigerator?
  2. Have you ever run out of beer?
  3. How quickly did you solve that problem?
  4. So, the basement. Does a big 'ole snake live down there?
  5. How about a secret government facility?
  6. Can you hook me up with a hot chick?

Happy Holidays!

Message on card:

Wishing you a white Christmas...

Not that I think you need the snow to hide you from the sun and keep your evil, plotting self from burning to a crisp and dying a fiery death or anything.

It's just that snow is pretty and all.

Message on card:

Willow and her Jewish egg wish you and yours a happy Hannukah!

May God grant you the serenity to deal with all those Christmas-lovin' heathens out there.

Message on card:

Happy holidays from the Xandman.

May your annual Christmas campout to avoid your family's drunken brawls be as peaceful as his.

Message on card:

Merry Christmas!
Happy Holidays!

From one dumbass to another.

Happy Thanksgiving

Message on card:

Happy Thanksgiving! May your holiday be filled with non-evil spirits, ricers, non-mushy peas, fully syphillus, political correctness and friends.!

Happy Mother's Day

Message on card:

I know we've had our differences...
but it's not like you switched bodies
in the dead of night, took over my
life and tried to kill my friends, right?
Well, OK there was that one time...

but it's not like it worked or anything.
I love you.

Valentine's Day

Graphics by Vrya

Message on card:

I'm sorry I forgot to bring you roses for Valentine's Day...

But hey, at least I didn't leave a dead body in your bed.

Graphics by Vrya

Message on card:

Dump-O-Gram
dear friend stop
I regret to inform you that I no longer consider you adequate dating material stop
happy v-day stop

Graphics by Vrya

Message on card:

As you know, Valentine's Day is coming up and on behalf of my dear friend whom you are dating, I'd like to remind you that:

If you screw this up I will beat you to death with a shovel.

*A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun.

Happy Father's Day

Message on card:

May your day be filled with as
much joy and as many
tranquilizers as mine!

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