Angel 4.1: Deep Down

I wanted to like this episode. I really did. Despite the scars I still bear from last season's painful finale, I had hope. Or, more precisely, I had spoilers. But they gave me hope. I wanted to see Angel suck Cordy dry when she proclaimed her everlasting love. I wanted to see him snap whiny ConnerSteven's whiny little neck. Oh wait. Maybe that's not exactly the hope ME wanted me to have. But sorry ME, I'm not doing hope for glimpses of Cordy in a glowy white dress, floating skyward.

And then, there's that this episode was written by Steve DeKnight. He gave us the heart chilling scene with Dawn cutting herself in Blood Ties. Then again, he also gave us the magic horses that were faster than a winnebago in Spiral. With him, it could go either way.

But a glimmer of hope lived in my heart as I pressed play on the Tivo.

Unfortunately, ME decided to show previouslies. And the joy of seeing EvilDarla was soon outweighed by floaty lovey Cordy. Who floated into the sky. As she glowed. I had hoped to pretend this storyline never existed. Remember how on the season premiere of Buffy, Giles did away with that whole pesky Willow as a crack whore storyline with a wave of his hand and a few words from his sexy mouth? Well, I was hoping Angel would continue the trend and open with Cordy saying, "I had this ridculous dream, where even that cool Skip guy acted like a huge dork and I levitated into the heavens like Mulder did in that one X-Files episode. And I was trying to find Angel so I could proclaim my undying love for him. Thank goodness it was all a dream. I need a shower." Sadly, the previouslies took that shiny hope and smooshed it flat. With a mother fucking song in its heart.

And speaking of Cordelia, I spent a lot of time laying around doing absolutely nothing this weekend. Which means that I saw a lot of Buffy. Good Buffy. Not magic-is-a-drug-candles-are-like-bongs Buffy. And does ME think that we, the viewing audience, have extremely short memories? Like fruit fly-length memories? That we are slow and easily impressionable? Or do they just think that wherever ME goes, we will follow because we are loyal and true? Because I assume they want their Buffy fans to watch Angel too. And yet, they want us to pretend that the Angel, Cordelia, and Wesley on that show are completely different characters than the ones we saw on Buffy. I watched Cordy in the shudder-inducing previouslies and looked for one spark of the girl we used to know back in Sunnydale and other than a slight physical resemblance (and I do mean slight), I could find nothing. And don't even get me started on champion-of-the-people-who-used-to-be-too-scared-to-leave-his-apartment Angel. I might never recover from a trip down that road. Or I've-seen-a-vampire-under-controlled-settings Wesley.

But still, I did mostly like the episode. Well, until the ending that pierced my skull with the pain of burning lava and burned my eyes with the passion of a thousand fiery suns, but I'll get to that later. I'm blocking it from my mind until then. Lalala... the parts of the episode that were not the ending...

Gunn and Fred
I would mention about how their saccrine sweet love reminded me that I'm overdue to see the dentist, and that now I'll have to add a root canal to the list of things for him to do, but happy sparkly love can only mean one thing. Heartbreak and pain. So, I'm assuming I won't have to watch the snuggles and cuteness much longer. Bye bye in-love-and-happy Gunn and Fred!

Wesley and Lilah
Wesley? Hot. Of course, I've thought that since he first arrived in LA. I didn't think much of him in Sunnydale, but that could be more because I was too distracted by Giles to notice. Or more likely, that the Wesley character on Angel is a completely different character than that on Buffy, who just happens to have the same name and is played by the same actor. I actually like Lilah a little more now that she's completely found her bitchy center. I still don't think it's plausible that Wesley is sleeping with her, all the while keeping Justine locked in his closet, because could he really lose himself in the moment, knowing that she and her bucket are so close by? Of course, he probably wouldn't want to completely lose himself in the moment anyway, since he has to stay on guard for Lilah's knife in his back. Which brings me to...

Wesley and Justine
What the fuck? Seriously, he obviously believed her story that they sent Angel off to sea, so why did he need to bring her along on the salvage missions? And couldn't she have dived down and claimed to find nothing? Would he have dived himself to check her story? If so, why send her down in the first place? And she couldn't take him with the wrench? She who could single-handedly dust bloodthirsty vamps without batting an eye? (The same vamps who Buffy just recently reminded Dawn have superhuman strength? Oh wait, I forgot. We're not supposed to remember any Buffy stuff when we watch Angel. They just both happen to feature vampires and characters with similar names.)

Conner
Why's he even hanging around with Gunn and Fred? Once he sank good 'ole dad, why didn't he just head out to see the world or something? After all, not only did he have no good reason to stick around, but they are Angel's friends. Wouldn't he want to stay far away from people who supported the evil father who he hated? Bah.

Gavin
Heh. Such joy. Such sorrow.

Cordelia
Disembodied head. Floating in space. We zoom to her through clouds and stars. Her head is bigger than the moon. She has no body. Her mission as a higher power is to float around as a head and scare UFOs away.

I just can't even go on. I need to go watch Alias or something and try to forget about the really big body-less head now.

Tell us what you think in the discussion forums.

10.07.02