beginning | blinding torment | boils | lies | making me bitter | evil compounds evil | blah blah bity blah







I like the quiet.

Xander. The One Without the Superpowers.



Where's the creep that turned me into his spider-eating man-bitch? Dammit! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!








These are just a few of the names Alexander LaVelle Harris has been subjected to by Buffy fans. And we here at b&bt are sick of it. Xander doesn't get the props he deserves, and we're not just talking about raising the roof because he's slept with Anya. We're talking about real, honest to goodness hero stuff.


That's right, we said hero. And guess what? He's the coolest Scooby there is. Why? Certainly not for his fashion sense, we can tell you that. Because everything he's done, he's done as Xander. He has not the powers of super strength and killer quips, he knows not the magic, nor does he care to. His courage is greater than everyone else because he fights right beside them without the years of training, or slayer strength, or wiccan talent. He's Xander. And while it's true that the carpenter imagery is being laid on a bit thick of late, he'll always be just Xander. And just Xander saves the world. A whole damn lot.


Since so many in the fandom seem to need a swift kick in the ass reminder of just Xander's greatness, we present to you the greatest Xander hero-type moments. We tried to do a top ten, but we found too damn many moments for that. And sure, on some of these we may be stretching it a bit, but so what? It's Xander. Leave us alone.




1. Grave

The most obvious, of course, would be the now infamous yellow crayon scene. Ignoring his miraculous arrival on the bluff (I thought he ran into the beam of evil that Willow was shooting at the phallic symbol, but I have been reassured that he actually seems to jump up out of the beam in slow motion), Xander threw himself in front of this destructo-beam. With no weapons and no common sense (some might argue), he talked Evil!Willow's hair from an angry black to sad red. Thanks Xander!


2. The Zeppo

He may have hung with zombies, he may have tried to use a tasty car to get some action and he may have put up with Cordelia's crap, but Xander Harris knew what to do when it came right down to it and saved his friends' oblivious asses. Sure, the friends that were up in the library fending off the lame Hellmouth, so it's not like they weren't doing their part. But they spent the entire episode talking down to the Xandman, when without him they would have been nothing more than little pieces of schmuck bait all over the library carpet. And did they say "thank you"? No. Sure, that's probably because Xander never told them, but still…Bitches, man. [Well, Faith kind of thanked him...]

3. Prophecy Girl

Angel, panting heavily and attempting to look stylish in a velvet blazer, had no breath to give Buffy after the Master dropped her in a puddle. But Xander? He who had been turned down by Buffy in favor of a dead guy? He who was then refused by Willow? Did he carry a grudge? Hell no, he got right to that mouth-to-mouth and saved that ungrateful chick's ass.

4. Inca Mummy Girl

Sure, he made one of many mistakes in the love department and fell for a demon, but who offered up himself to save Willow? That's right, folks, that would be our very own Xander Harris. And wasn't that pretty damn nice of him? I mean, he could've been sucked into a mummy! A mummy! There are no hot chicks laying around, waiting for a hot mummy to come along! (Actually, we're not sure on this….he would, technically, be dead. And we all know how a certain Slayer digs the dead ones…)


5. Halloween

As Private Harris he kicked ass and didn't bother to take names. You go boy!

6. The Freshman

Buffy, depressed and ignored by Willow and Oz, wandered to the Bronze, ready to give up and just let Sunday kick her ass, when Xander found her and promptly inflated her ego by employing the phrase that didn't catch on as well as Joss had probably hoped: What Would Buffy Do? (Hey wait... I thought the phrase was What Would Buffy Wear?) We love him.

7. In The Harsh Light Of Day

Did he run when an invincible Spike attacked Buffy in broad daylight? Hell no. Sure, he got his head kicked in, but he did it like a man.

8. Where the Wild Things Are

Against all odds, Xander fought his way through a possessed frat house and went where no man has ever wanted to go--Riley's room. With no concern for his own safety, he bravely interrupted Buffy and Riley's continuous, evil sex. Let's hope he got hazard pay.


9. Innocence

Hello, who do you think came up with the idea for the rocket launcher? You think that was Buffy? Pfft. She may be the Slayer, but she wasn't turned into a military man on Halloween, no way, no how.

10. Lessons

Swallowing his pride and entering the girl's bathroom, Xander found the talisman and smashed it to teeny tiny bits, making all the ghoulie people go away. Yay Xander!



11. Go Fish

The episode may have sucked, but those not-so-scary boys in the recycled reptilian demon outfits were looking to snack, and Xander came just in time to save her from being fish food. He also put himself in the line of danger by joining the swim team. He had to wear a speedo. That shouldn't be taken lightly. Many of us are still thanking him for it.

12. When She Was Bad

Xander was gentleman enough to put his macking on Willow on hold to jump between a vampire and our little crackwhore-in-training.

13. The Prom

Ignoring the fact that this was one of the lamest episodes ever, and blocking out the memory of the umbrella award, let's just remember that Xander bought Cordelia a prom dress. We don't know how he got the money, and we don't want to. (Well, I just like to imagine that this is when he learned how to earn those dollars in his waistband.)

14. Replacement

Our man Xan pushed Buffy out of the way and got Toth'd. He was willing (once again, might I add) to sacrifice his life so that Buffy would be spared. Oh Xander, you're so sweet.


15. Innocence

When the adults wanted to hide, Xander wanted to go search for Buffy, his personal safety be damned. We like to think he would still be this brave even if Buffy wasn't so hot.

16. Killed by Death

Forgetting for a moment that he's a lowly mortal, Xander stood up to Angelus in the hospital waiting room, denying him access to sick Buffy and filling the hospital with enough sexual tension to spawn thousands of fanfics across the country. And later, who followed his lady fair when she went to slay the Freddie Krueger wannabe? Her knight in slacker clothes, that's who.

17. Some Assembly Required

Not yet up to groping status with Cordelia, Xander nevertheless jumped through the fire to go after Cordelia when the Frankensteinish monster left her strapped to a table. Everyone else just stood there going "ooh, scary fire!" and he just ran right in, with no concern for his own personal safety. And this was before he even thought Cordy was hot. At least, before he thought it out loud.

18. The Harvest

Even though he was only 16 and just found out about vampires, he went with Buffy to save his friend, Jesse. She was the slayer. He was just courageous. Unable to save Jesse, he ended up staking him by the end of the episode. Sure, it wasn't a world-saving maneuver (and he didn't actually do it on purpose), but it was still pretty damn brave.

19. The Pack

Even though it may have been partly Xander's fault that Willow's life was in danger, when it came right down to it, and the hyena had been exorcised from his body, Xander rushed the psycho with the knife and saved the life of the woman who's heart he would one day crush. If she wasn't gay.

20. Anne

Picking up the slack Buffy left, Xander took the moniker NightHawk and went out patrolling nightly with the rest of the underaged crew, keeping the streets and graveyards of Sunnydale safe. Sorta. But he tried, dammit.

21. Lover's Walk

Who threw himself at Spike? Oh, that's right, Xander. And what did he get for his troubles? Knocked out and held prisoner, that's what. Oh, and Willow kissage, but really, that didn't do him much good in the end.




Now, are you sure you understand the plan?


22. Him

Proof that the saving just keeps coming. Who actually took action and found out what the spell was all about? And who stopped Willow just in time? And drove Spike to the school to stop Buffy? And got Buffy to the train tracks in time to save Dawn? And formulated the brilliant and complicated plan to end the spell? Oh, that's right. It was Xander. Again.

23. Never Leave Me

Oh, and proof that his no-super-power-in-sight self is still out there risking his life for others, he whacked that harbinger and saved Dawn's life (looking damn hot while doing it too). If only he could whack those harbingers out of my memory. Forever.




Did we miss any of your favorite Xander moments of courage? Let us know in the forums.